One Love
by genies9
Summary: What if you could love someone so much that you followed them through their lives, only to have to always watch them from afar. And what if you knew that each time you found them, you would only have to lose them again? No longer a one-shot Chapter 2 now
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, this was my entry in the "Heartbreak" writing competition thing on MCBC. For the moment it's just a one-shot. I don't know yet if I want to continue. So, yeah. Read. Review. Tell me if I should continue or not. That sort of thing. lol.

**One Love**

Jesse sat in the window seat in Susannah's bedroom, watching as she slept peacefully. He smiled a little. It was hard to imagine that she could look so peaceful in sleep considering how she acted while she was awake.

He wasn't supposed to be there, he knew that. He should have been down at the rectory. Susannah didn't need him there just then, she didn't even know he was with her. Nonetheless, it made him feel better to be near her. On most nights it kept the haunting memories at bay.

Unfortunately, tonight would not be one of those nights. As Jesse watched her, his mind floated back over the years. Closing his eyes, he could still see her face as it had been the last time he'd seen her. She'd smiled up at him, and looked sweeter than anything he'd ever seen before.

* * *

She laid her head on his chest, smiling. "Are you going to miss me?"

He laughed, linking his arms around her waist. "It's only for a week, querida."

She pulled back a little and fake glared at him. "So? That doesn't mean you can't miss me, does it."

Jesse laughed again and leaned down, brushing a kiss against her lips. "Of course I'll miss you. I won't be able to think of anything else."

* * *

Jesse opened his eyes, sighing. It had been the last time he'd seen her alive. When he had found her a week later, it had been too late to save her, she was already dead.

He'd found her again. He found her after he himself had died. But she never even knew he was there. She had a new life, one that didn't include him or any memory of him at all. But the man--the one who had taken her from him in the first place--had found her, too, and Jesse thought it was fairly safe to say that the man's only purpose in life--in all the lives he had had--was to punish her in the cruelest ways possible.

Punish her for loving Jesse, all those years ago.

Jesse knew that was why she died each time, despite his attempts to save her. She never saw him, never knew he was there, and each time he found her, the man had already found her first.

Jesse looked at Susannah again. She never saw him, was never aware of him at all. Never had anyway of being warned of the danger she was in.

Until now.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so it only took me a day to decide whether or not to continue…

To answer certain questions: No, Jesse didn't die again. He died once. He knew Suze… well, first-life Suze anyway (who currently has no name, working on that…lol) when he was alive, pre-Maria thing. But I'm getting to that. And I'll get to how she died, too. And I haven't figured out why she can see him this time and not every other time, lol, besides letting up on Jesse, 'cause I torture him in all my fanfics.

And is it really so obvious who the bad guy is? sigh I feel so… so… redundant. Oh, well. Lol. By the way: it's not going to be entirely in Jesse's point of view. Just 'cause I can't write a story entirely in one person's point of view, I switch it. All the time.

And to add to the freakishly long A/N: the first part is sort of a dream/memory type thing. Dream because she's asleep and doesn't REALLY remember what happened, and memory because it is what happened. I know, confusing. Just trust me.

Chapter 2

Salinas County, California  
1848

"It's only for a week, querida," Jesse said, laughing down at me.

I felt sick. I couldn't explain why, but for whatever reason, I didn't want to let Jesse go. Not that I ever did. It didn't matter that the only time I got to spend alone with him was when we could get away from the prying eyes of our well-meaning families. We were supposed to be getting married in a week, anyway—my mother and I were going into town the next day to get everything ready. But still. The thought of being away from Jesse, of being left vulnerable to _him_, terrified me.

I was being silly. I could get by for a week, and then Jesse would be there and I would be safe. Really be safe.

A week later, nothing had happened, and I was beginning to think all of my worries had been for nothing. Maybe that's why when I got the note one morning—the morning before Jesse, his family, and the rest of my family were supposed to come into town for our wedding—in what looked like Jesse's handwriting, asking me to meet him behind the inn's stables late that night, I went without really thinking. Without even really considering that the request hardly sounded like something Jesse would ask.

I crept out to where he had asked me to meet him, feeling my apprehension growing by the minute. What was I doing out there? I berated myself as I stood behind the stables. I must have read the note wrong, this couldn't be right at all.

Just then I heard someone coming toward me. I turned hopefully, some of my apprehension vanishing. "Jesse?"

The figure moving toward her suddenly launched himself at her, grabbing her and shoving her against the wall of the stables. "You little whore," he hissed, his hand clamping over her mouth to stifle the shrieks trying to erupt from her throat. "After everything I've done for you, you would give yourself to that… that…" he couldn't even get the words out, and as he leaned closer I could see the murderous rage in his eyes that I knew only too well.

I tried to speak, but his hand was clamped to tightly over my mouth. He lifted it a fraction, demanding, "What?"

It took me a moment before I could gasp out, "You never did anything for me."

If it was possible, he became even more enraged with just that one sentence. He pressed forward, his hands moving to encircle my throat, cutting off my air. "You stupid bitch," he swore. "You're supposed to love _me_, you understand?" He shook me hard, his fingers digging into my skin. I couldn't breathe. I tried to reach up to claw at his hands, but his body was crushing me against the wall. "Say you love me," he demanded, shaking me again, eliciting nothing but gasps. "_Say it!"_

My brain was starting to go numb. I should have been terrified right then, but for some reason I felt detached. Saying yes would save my life, I knew that much. But saying yes would mean being forced to live the rest of my life at the mercy of a man who had none.

I opened my mouth, not really sure what my answer would be until I finally got it out. My vision was blurring, and I all I could see was his face, staring down at me. "No," I whispered, almost inaudibly.

I was barely aware of him after that. His hands became more punishing, and he was saying something, but I couldn't hear him anymore. All I could see was Jesse and how he had looked the last time I'd seen him—laughing and smiling down at me, loving shining in his dark eyes.

That image was the last thing I saw before everything went black.

I sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. Why did I keep having these dreams?

I crawled out of bed, moving over the window seat. Jesse wasn't there, but somehow it made me feel better to sit where he usually was. Hugging my knees to my chest, I took several deep breaths, trying to erase the images from my mind.

I'd been having the same dreams for weeks. There was always someone trying to kill me, and Jesse was always in there somewhere, whether I saw him there or it just _felt_ like he was there.

They're just dreams, I kept telling myself. I wasn't going to wake up to find some raving lunatic trying to murder me—well, at least most of the time—no matter how real the dreams always felt.

That was the scary part. They didn't feel like dreams, they felt like memories. But that was ridiculous.

I shuddered, hugging my knees closer. I needed to calm down, I knew that, but for some reason I couldn't, I couldn't drive out the images from what I'd seen.

"Susannah?"

I looked up. Jesse was standing in front of me, looking concerned. I tried to smile at him, but it didn't quite come out right.

Jesse came and sat down on the window seat, pulling me into his arms. "What's wrong, querida?" he said softly, rubbing my back gently.

I shook my head, finally feeling myself relax. Something about being in Jesse's arm did that to me I guess. When he was there I could tell convince myself that everything was okay, that it was all just a dream, that I was being stupid for being so freaked out by it.

Jesse eventually picked me up and put me back in bed, tucking me in like I was a small child. He kissed me gently, whispering, "Go back to sleep, querida."

I grabbed his hand, not really wanting to let go of him yet. "Will you stay?" I asked sleepily.

He hesitated, then said, "Of course, I'll stay."

"Hmm," I murmured. I smiled, only really half-awake now. It would be okay, I told myself as I drifted back off to sleep. Jesse would keep the crazy murderers away.

A/N: Eh. I don't know. It could be worse. Be ready for periodic flashbacks/dreams, I guess, lol.


End file.
